Things
Watch an acoustic video of my new original song called “Things”, and read the story behind why I wrote it.
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We Really Need God. We Really Need Each Other, Too.
In the summer of 2002 (I think…), I was part of a college group called CrossWise. We were a band, and we traveled to various churches and church camps in the Midwest and did concerts, led worship, etc. Our first gig was leading worship at a camp in North Dakota.
As with most church camps, there is a night toward the end that involves a campfire and lots of sharing by students. Many times these events lead to the sound of crickets chirping, but not this one. Somewhere along the way, kids started sharing, and I mean really sharing. They stripped away all the fake exterior and started talking about the real demons they struggled with. We’re talking substance abuse, addictions, self-mutilation… It was shocking. What came from that campfire session was the realization that we are broken people – every one of us. We are broken, and only God can fix us. Another thing those kids realized is that they needed each other. They needed to encourage each other. They needed to keep each other accountable.
If we try and face our demons alone, they will destroy us. Period.
I was pretty moved by this whole thing. I hung out at the campfire after most people left and wrote out a prayer for those kids. The prayer became a song, and it goes like this:
Fill me when I’m lonely
Fill me this I pray
Fill me when I’m lonely
Fill me todayI need your love
And I need your presence
I need you here to carry me through
I need your love
And I need your presence
It’s all I want todoHear me when I’m crying
Hear me this I pray
Hear me when I’m crying
Hear me todayDraw me closer to you
Draw me closer to you
Draw me closer to you
It’s all I want to do
Listen/watch the song here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BZXkWzoa4s
Leaving… Abraham did it, and so did I!
I’m feeling a bit like Abraham lately. By Abraham, I mean Father Abraham from the Old Testament. Why do I say this? Well, my wife and I moved. We moved to a place where we had never really been before, and both of us moved into situations that we’ve never experienced before. Abraham did the same thing. One day God told Abraham to go – God didn’t say where to go, but just to go. And Abraham went. This all takes place in Genesis 12.
I’ve often wondered how Abraham (he went by Abram at the time) felt about moving. He left everything he knew and set out to something foreign. Something unknown. God made him a great promise – he promised Abraham that he would make him the father of a great nation, but Abraham had to have wondered about that, because his wife was barren. I’m sure Abraham was scared, confused, worried…
So Angela and I have moved. We felt it was God’s calling in our lives to take this step, and we know that God will take care of us, but we are still in a place we don’t know. We can take comfort in the story of Abraham. God came through on his promise (He always does). He came through in Abraham’s life, and He’ll come through on his promise in our lives as well. It’s hard to go through times of uncertainty and times of displacement, but we know that we serve a God who makes all things happen for his Glory, and we serve a God who loves us and who has really awesome plans for our futures.
Well, Abraham left, and so did I. I wonder if Abraham wrote a song about it – ’cause you better believe I did…
I don’t know where I’m going
I don’t know, but I’ve been here before
I don’t know where I’m going
Walk out the doorWould you tell me if I asked you?
Would you tell me what you see in me?
Would you tell me if I wanted everything?It’s the hard part of leaving
All you know, it just fades away
And you just want to see it never change
But you changeGoing, not knowing
It’s just so hard to let go
Here’s a bit of an explanation of the lyrics…
“I don’t know where I’m going, but I’ve been here before”
- While I might not know exactly what’s going to happen in the future here in North Carolina for me, I can read about others (like Abraham) that have gone through similar situations in life. I can read their stories and understand how God worked in their lives.
“Would you tell me if I asked you”
“Would you tell me what you see in me”
“Would you tell me if I wanted everything”
- It’s no secret that God sees more than we do. I’ve heard so many illustrations about this, but the bottom line is that God knows more than we do, and he knows more than we do for a reason.
- I’m asking the question here – if I were face-to-face with God, and I could ask him anything – would He tell me what my future had in store? Would he tell me what he had planned? I think so many times the journey makes us who we are, and that if we knew everything we were going to be or amount to in the end, something would be lost.
- I suppose that in asking these questions, I’m saying that I think I understand why there is uncertainty, and why there is a journey and not just a destination.
The song “Leaving” is on the “Strings EP”, and you can get it here.
Empty Faith: Thoughts on the "American Gospel"
I am disgusted with what I call “American Christianity”. I was at a youth camp last week, and our speaker brought to our attention a recent poll of non-Christians in America. The poll revealed 3 of the top feelings toward Christians in America. They are:
- Christians are judgemental
- Christians are gay-haters
- Christians are close-minded and intolerant
In other words – we’re no more than hypocrites.
There really is no argument against data like that. This is how we as a Christian community are viewed. In my opinion, we’ve earned this reputation. Other statistics show that the general lifestyle of a professing Christian in America does not at all differ from a non-Christian. Things like divorce rates and such are identical. The word “Christian” means “little Christ” – or to be Christ-like. In my opinion, we as Christians are way off the mark when it comes to actually doing what we are supposed to do – to be like Christ.
I recently had a conversation with a fellow youth pastor. It was one of those talks where you kind of come to an epiphany during the conversation. I’d never verbalized it in my life before, but at the end of our talk, I told him, “My greatest fear is that I’ll become like the Pharisees. That I’ll become like the religious leaders that Jesus hated”. Jesus called them “Sons of hell”. He literally pointed to a group of pastors/church leaders and said, “You are sons of hell”. Powerful. It was because they cared more about how they appeared to those around them than what was inside their hearts. They had empty faith. The reason I said I was afraid of becoming like the Pharisees is because, while I truly and genuinely try to live like Christ, many times I don’t. I’ll say that I forgive, but I’ll hold a grudge. I’ll say I care for the poor, but I live in a nice house in the suburbs and hardly ever think about people who have less than I do. I’ll say I want to help the oppressed – the helpless, but I sometimes I feel like I don’t really do anything about social justice or equality. There is a struggle inside of me. There really is a struggle inside of all of us. We are born with a sin nature. Yet, we are also created in God’s image – in the image of a perfect, loving, and merciful God. And we are called to live a life like Christ.
Last week, at camp in Colorado, I wrote a song called “Empty Faith”. This song is many things. It’s a confession – an admission of guilt. It’s a portrayal of the struggle between sin and love that lives inside me. It’s a prayer – a petition to God to change my heart and make me more like Him.
Here are the lyrics:
We hold our Bibles high
And we say we’re right
We’ll give you the perfect lines then run and hideCan’t we see we’ve lost the way
Can’t we see that it’s all just fake
As long as they’re watching everything’s fineWhere are you in all of this
We use your name but destroy your imageI say I’m different but I just look the same
So I am over all this empty faith
I’ve been changed by a love I can’t explain
So I am over all this empty faithWe’ll white-wash the outside
We’ll do everything right
As long as they’re watching everything’s fineYou ask for more
You search the heart of me
Change the heart of me
May we all have a desire to truly and honestly live like “little Christs”. I encourage you to really examine your own heart, and then ask God to make it more like His.